Today I took my first final exam. I am pretty sure I bombed it, but I guess that's the norm for this class. It was 29 questions and I was there for 4 hours, which was the exam time limit.
Yesterday and today were pretty much the lowest point for me so far in this semester. I remember at the beginning when they said the pressure will come, little did I know then what that would mean, or feel like to me personally.
I guess when you hit rock bottom the only place to go from there is up. So, starting tomorrow, I look forward to going up, to bouncing back and moving on. Now I understand more fully what it means to fail at things over and over, so that finally when something does go right it will mean that much more.
I have interviewed with several companies for summer internships and have been turned down by all of them. Quite a humbling experience. Actually, I have felt continually humbled every day since the start of school.
It's really hard to see things in perspective sometimes when you are bogged down, so after I took my test today I drove over to Heather and Curtis's house to hang out and detach myself from the stress. Until today I have not taken a break from studying since school started, and it has taken a toll on me in every way.
I anticipate that now with one less class to worry about the rest of this semester should feel a little lighter. I don't think it will get that much easier, but I will sure not miss doing hours of accounting homework and taking four weekly quizzes that are timed at 20 minutes each!
For anyone who has seen the movie " The Princess Bride" (sorry Stephanie) I thought of a scene that perfectly described my feelings yesterday. I wish I could put it here for you, but I don't know how to find it. It's the part where Wesley is in the torture chamber and the six-fingered man is asking him for his feedback on how he feels after different levels of torture. After the highest level of torture Wesley whimpers in a pathetic tone. That was me yesterday.
I am thankful that time can heal your heart and for good family and friends who are supportive of me during this time.
PS - I have another Accounting class next semester, but supposedly it will not be like this one was...we'll see!
2 comments:
Congratulations on being done! What a journey! Good luck on the next phase...and yes, you're right...there is only "up" to go when you're at the bottom!
I totally identified with your post--I was living with you guys when I hit bottom in my program. I remember feeling so humiliated, yet now I look back and know definitely what I was not good at and what my strengths were. Thanks for sharing! You're smart, capable, and on to things you're better at! BTW, you can search on www.youtube.com under six fingered man, torture, princess bride and the code to embed the clip will be on the right hand side. Copy it right into your post. So cool!
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